This is a straight up MF tragedy. I do not understand why this is allowed to exist, why someone thought this was a good idea, or why I'm not hunting down the producer of this song and strangling him/her in their sleep.

"Imogen... did you allow this? I hope not!"

So, if you watch ANTM, you'll have noticed a new ridiculous song that signifies "elimination" has been gracing your ears. That song it the aptly-named "Top Model" by Marvin Fequiere. Do you dare to hear more?

"Some people write music specifically for reality show eliminations!"

I'm sorry, Zooey. I like you. But you cannot sing. I know, I know, you're married to an indie rocker. You want to be a part of that. Okay. But just... you are not a singer. Or, maybe try not singing out your nose?

Moreover, these new Cotton ads are blowful.

"Proximity to Ben Gibbard does not make you a singer!"